The Situation Got Kicked Out of the Apple Store for Trying to Cut in Line [Apple]

By Casey Chan Oct 16, 2011 5:28 PM 55,346 86

The Situation, from the MTV hit freak show Jersey Shore, was apparently trying to get an iPhone 4S from the Apple Store but got kicked out instead. Was the fake tan and hair gel combo smell unbearable? Nope! Sitch foolishly tried to cut the line.

When an Apple Store employee saw Mike up to no good (he's either killing or making this season of the Shore btw), he told him to GTFO and threw him out. Maybe Sitch gets special treatment at Karma but at the Apple Store, we all wait together bro. You should of had Snooks sneak in or something. [@laurenmcc, Image Credit: Getty]

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Apple Purposely Gave Siri Some Attitude [IPhone]

By Casey Chan Oct 15, 2011 2:35 PM 49,040 74

Siri, the iPhone's super sassy personal assistant, has some hilarious bite to her, doesn't she? It wasn't always like this! According to WSJ, Siri started with a "light attitude" until Apple bought it and then purposely gave it more of an edge.

Norman Winarsky, a co-founder of Siri before Apple's purchase, says his original team had many conversations about "whether it should be gender neutral or should have an attitude". They decided to go with a voice that occasionally had a "light attitude". When Apple got their hands on Siri though, Apple wanted more edge, a realness that wasn't vanilla. Yes, they wanted to keep Siri "friendly and humble" but they were more concerned with "how would we want a person to respond?"

And they did a pretty good job! We've tested Siri plenty already and it's the most natural voice control system we've seen. What else can answer, "I've never really thought about it" to "Do you do anal?" or respond to an inquiry about Siri's favorite sex position by snapping, "You're not supposed to ask your assistant such things". Now if only Apple spent as much time perfecting the voice as they did figuring out her attitude... [WSJ, Image Credit: Shit That Siri Says]

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Ugh. God. Why Is Apple Making Everything Look Like an Ugly Wild West? [Apple]

By Sam Biddle Oct 14, 2011 7:00 PM 45,163 104

Yeee-haw, Apple buckaroos! Whooz ready for some good timin', multitaskin'? Who wants their iPhone served up with a hot bucket'a grits? HOOOOOOOOOOO BOY. Jonny Ive's deep in the hooch pan again? Saddle up, grab yer partner, and let's make some truck-ugly apps!

Apple's UI design has, for a long time, subtly mimicked reality—the brushed metal of iTunes riffing off a jukebox or stereo. Skeuomorphism can be a good thing—it helps us feel comfortable as visual creatures. If virtual things look like real things, they might be friendlier for us to use, right? This rationale has shaped the things on our screens since there've been screens to stare at: the desktop, the folder, the email icon that looks like a postal envelope. Vestiges of the physical world, even obsolete ones, are borrowed from to make computers feel less like alienating boxes and more like the good old days.

Apple used to hold itself, and its developers, to rules about copying the real, laid out in its Human Interface Guidelines, a handbook of computer/person love. Part of those rules? Don't lean too heavily on the realism:

Think of the objects and scenes you design as opportunities to communicate with users and to express the essence of your app. Don't feel that you must strive for scrupulous accuracy. Often, an amplified or enhanced portrayal of something can seem more real, and convey more meaning, than a faithful likeness.

In other words, make reference, but don't slather it on.

The rules worked fine for decades! And, arguably, no giant company has made prettier software more consistently than Apple, ever. That is, until the company began taking the design advice of what can only be someone who stuck a syringe full of amphetamines into his neck and rode a horse straight into Cupertino.

They've smashed their own rules. Remember this, Apple? "Consider replicating the look of high-quality or precious materials. If the effect of wood, leather, or metal is appropriate in your application, take the time to make sure the material looks realistic and valuable. For example, Notes reproduces the look of fine leather and meticulous stitching." Your stitching looks like a dustbowl diaper. "In general, metaphors work best when they're not stretched too far. For example, the usability of software folders would decrease if they had to be organized into a virtual filing cabinet." Apple's stretched its metaphors to the point of ripping.

iCal looks like John Wayne's daily ledger for Indian killing sprees, a heinous mash of leather-bound schlock and 21st century date-keeping. Who ever owned a calendar that looked like this? What is this appropriating? If I upgrade to iCal Pro will it come with animated beaded tassels? I don't want my calendar to look like anything—I want graceful, minimal windows that put my schedule at the fore. I don't want a pair of homeless shelter moccasins.

Game Center, the green felt iOS stepchild, is as ugly as it is neglected. It smells of plastic bottle whiskey. It looks soiled, tacky, and—Christ, what kind of old timey parlor did I walk into? Is this going to keep track of my Infinity Blade progress or ask me to play a game of fucking pinochle and dominos? The geezer fonts! The chintzy banners! This is supposed to be the iOS Game Center, not Doc Hoolihan's Goode Time Saloon. It runs contrary to every other part of iOS. It sticks out, it's anti-functional, and mind-boggling. Uniformity is Apple's MO. Game Center is poison in the well.

And then... there's Find My Friends, the newest visual atrocity from the Apple design rodeo. Unlike the antique iCal and Game Center, which at least take their cues from things that at one time existed (a lone cattleman's notebook, an evening of backgammon at the nursing home), Find My Friends' use of the stitched leather moccasin horror skin replicates nothing. Skinng a geolocational social app like a Navajo sash isn't just unpleasant to look at, it's idiotic. It's meaningless. There is literally nothing to take a visual cue from—it's a concept that's only existed for a few years. A map of your friends based on their GPS coordinates should be nothing more than that—no skins, no themes, just information. Placing the rawhide catastrophe onto a 21st century application is the antithesis of design: backwards, nonsensical, confusing, and fugly.

Why is Apple doing this now? Who put the company on this foul, cud-spittin' trajectory? For the first time in, oh I don't know, probably ever, Microsoft is displaying a keener aesthetic eye than Apple. Digest that. Both Windows 8 and Windows Phone 7 proudly eschew all skeuomorphism—any semblance to the real world is kicked in the Recycle Bin. The ultra-flat, super-contrasty interfaces of both are a triumph of digitalism. The New Windows, whether desktop or mobile, makes no attempt to look like anything in the real world. And it works wonderfully—both are beautiful because they embrace their pixels, not strive for faux woodgrain or marble or some other digital tromp d'oeil. Apple's users are, increasingly, generations that can't relate to these quaint analogies. I've never used an address book. I don't need to be comforted by pseudo-fabrics. Apple itself said "In general, metaphors work best when they're not stretched too far. For example, the usability of software folders would decrease if they had to be organized into a virtual filing cabinet." And it's done just that. Ugly, ugly hypocrisy.

So, will the next version of OS X be themed like an adobe hut? Will iChat be skinned like a telegraph? We hope these recent missteps are an instance of unbridled experimentation that resulted in a quick return to sanity—not a long trot into dusty eyeball hell. It's not the first time Apple has gone ugly, but this is the most egregious. Yee haw fuck that.

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iPhone 4S Test Notes: Apple Earbuds [IPhone]

By Adrian Covert Oct 14, 2011 6:52 PM 26,569 67

Yep, they're still shit. [iPhone 4S on Giz]

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Apple Shares Hit an All-Time High [Apple]

By Andrew Tarantola Oct 14, 2011 6:55 PM 12,215 26

On the heels of the iPhone 4S release, Apple's stock rose 3.3 percent today to close at $422 a share. The Cupertino company is now worth $391 billion, passing once again Exxon as the world's most valuable public company.

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How Many iPhones Did Apple Sell Today? A Sh*tload. [IPhone]

By Kyle Wagner Oct 14, 2011 6:37 PM 20,850 43

I guess you guys weren't all that disappointed in the iPhone 4S after all. AT&T's already broken their record for single-day iPhone sales, and it's on pace to double the old record. And with Verizon and Sprint on top of that, well, that's kind of a lot.

AT&T looking like it's going to double its single-day record is especially impressive because this is the first iPhone launch where it's had to share the mic with Verizon and Sprint. Put another way, take last year's (AT&T-only) iPhone launch, double it, and then on top of that pile on whatever Verizon and Sprint sell today—which will be a lot. Especially considering Sprint's already reporting its best day of retail and web sales ever. That's crazy. [AT&T]

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How You Can Get a Fresh iPad for $100 (Updated) [Apple]

By Jesus Diaz Oct 12, 2011 8:00 AM 69,665 205

I love my iPad. It's the original model, bought on April 3, 2010. It's been working perfectly since then but the battery life was really bad, lasting only a couple of hours lately. It was exhausted. I had to replace it.

In the process, I got a fresh iPad 64GB at the Apple Store for just $100. The good news, you can get one too.

After so many charging cycles, my original iPad's battery was exhausted. It took forever to recharge and only a few hours to completely run out. I remember the days when I first got it. I could use it normally for a couple of days, watching at least two Netflix movies on it or browsing the web, running some apps and reading comic books.

I went to the Apple Store to ask for a battery replacement. But, as it turns out, you can't replace an iPad's battery. As the guy at the Apple Store's Genius Bar told me: "See? They don't have screws. We can't replace the battery."

Then he added: "If you want a new battery, we have to give you an entire new iPad."

How? My iPad was out of warranty. I didn't buy Apple Care. He answered that this was no problem. I only have to pay $100 for the "battery." In return, they would give you a reconditioned iPad with the same storage size as yours, with a fresh battery inside.

So I did exactly that. I paid the hundred bucks and got back home with a perfect battery life and an iPad with no blemishes whatsoever. If your battery life is sketchy—which is probably the case if you bought it back in April 2010—you should go to an Apple store, pay your hundred and get a fresh new iPad on your hands.

Update: A former Genius shares his tips in the comments:

• You can do the same thing with any iPhone for $79, and most iPods for $69.

• Apple will replace an iPhone in almost any condition (the only exception being for devices that are literally broken into little pieces, or ones that are missing parts) for $199, even if it's liquid damaged or cracked.

• Apple will replace any OOW damaged iPad for around half the price.

• On an iPhone 4, if the back glass is cracked, an Apple employee can replace it for $29 in only about 5 minutes, also not a bad idea if your camera lens is scratched beyond repair

• If you restore your device before bringing it in, there are no usage records saved and they have to take your word for it that the battery is defective.

That's pretty good customer service indeed.

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Apple's Incredible Post-PC Chip-Engineering Army [Apple]

By Kyle Wagner Oct 11, 2011 11:00 AM 23,127 69

Sometimes it seems like Apple's using tech from the future, and apparently Cupertino has an army of 1,000 engineers working on future post-PC chips to keep it that way.

According to TechCrunch, that represents 5 percent of Apple's entire non-retail workforce. Crazy. But also brilliant. Apple was one of the first to start moving to flash memory for non-phone devices, and that helped them modernize form factor as we know it right now. But also, the every-last-drop graphical performance of the A5, and future chips, presumably, allows Apple to make products that perform well with lesser specs than competitors, such as the rumored 512 RAM in the iPhone 4S.

So yeah, we knew that moving us past the PC era is a huge priority for Apple, but dedicating this many employees to pushing its mobile, tablet, and whatever untold new frontiers might be out there forward shows just how serious they are. [TechCrunch]

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iCloud Is Live-ish [Apple]

By Casey Chan Oct 12, 2011 9:03 AM 22,427 34

iCloud.com is live right now which means you can now access iCloud by logging in with your Apple ID account. Or well sorta. You're still going to need Lion 10.7.2 to get all the good stuff but you can poke your head in to check it out right now.

Once you punch in your credentials, you can see the framework of iCloud take shape: your mail, contacts, calendar and iWork are all backed up to Apple's cloud and the very useful but familiar by now Find My iPhone feature is conveniently packed in too. Cool! But without Mac OS X Lion 10.7.2 and iOS 5 out yet, you won't get to take full advantage of iCloud—you're still missing Photostream, iCal syncing, account merging, etc. For now, it's just like a really pretty splash page that'll get infinitely more useful once you get loaded up with the proper software. But feel free to poke away! [iCloud]

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Find My Friends Is Already Live [Apple]

By Kyle Wagner Oct 12, 2011 9:41 AM 19,550 43

iCloud isn't totally off the ground yet, but the new Find My Friends app is already available in the iTunes Store.

Find My Friends is Apple's new location service that lets you continuously share your location instead of checking in. You can also set aside specific blocks of time to share.

The rest of Apple's software goodie bag, including iCloud, iOS 5, and OS X Lion 10.7.2, is expected to drop early this afternoon. But if you already have iOS 5, you can get ahead of the curve and start stalking your friends and family like animals in real time right now. [iTunes via 9to5mac]

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OMG APPLE CAN I PLEASE MERGE MY APPLE ID AND MOBILEME ACCOUNTS FOR ICLOUD [Apple]

By Matt Buchanan Oct 11, 2011 1:25 PM 12,008 49

I'm super excited for iCloud but I'm still wondering what the hell I'm going to do with my two separate Apple ID accounts: my original one, which I made to buy stuff on iTunes—and still use to buy apps—and then the MobileMe account that Apple forced you to make as a separate Apple ID.

I just want it all to work together, dammit, especially since I paid Apple money for all this stuff before they decided to make it free. One account, all my info, all my apps. Just give us a heads up what the hell is happening, or at least the correct way I should set up my iCloud. Should it be my app account, or my MobileMe account? I dunno! (Like this is sort of helpful, I guess, but annoying.) I think my $69 a year bought that much, since sometimes I feel like it didn't buy that much else.

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Biker Gang Raids Apple Store [Crime]

By Sam Biddle Oct 10, 2011 9:09 AM 13,723 29

Moped life on the open road. Unbridled asphalt rebellion. The thrill of the throttle, wind in your hair, roar of the engine beneath you. Breaking into an Apple Store to steal a bunch of iPads. Rebels.

Seven English idiot moped-riders smashed through a London Apple store early this morning, snatching Macs, iPads, and "other similar devices," according to police. The Next Web's Matt Brian says the motorized mischief was witnessed by a blogging gent who's been camping outside the store for publicity: "Really annoying as I was having an early sleep and was out for the count."

Who is the sadder figure here: a guy stealing iPads on a moped, or a guy sleeping outside of an Apple Store by choice? Trick question: the most miserable of all are the two who got caught:

A 16-year-old boy and 21-year-old man were arrested at the scene on suspicion of burglary. Property, believed stolen from the store, was found in bags in their possession, Scotland Yard said.

Photos via The Next Web

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Did Steve Jobs Leave a Special Four Year Plan for Apple? [Apple]

By Jesus Diaz Oct 10, 2011 12:00 PM 9,048 10

I don't know where these people are getting this bit of information from, but they're claiming that Steve Jobs "worked for more than a year on the products that he believed would safeguard the company" during the next four years.

Four year plans seem normal to me—any company should have a roadmap for at least the next four years. It's only logical if they want to make strategic decisions that would give them benefits in the long term.

Apple is a perfect example of this: they made contracts well in advance to secure a steady supply of low price flash memory and touch screens over the next several years. They did it for the MacBook Air, the iPhone, the iPod touch and the iPad. That's why their prices are lower than the rest of the industry and their margins higher, as Tim Cook reminded everyone last January:

[...] we have historically entered into certain agreements with different people to secure supply and other benefits, and the largest one in the recent past is that we signed a deal with several flash suppliers at the end of 2005 that totalled over a billion dollars, because we anticipated that flash would become increasingly important across our entire product line and incredibly important to the entire industry, so we wanted to secure supply for the company.

Long-term plans are also needed to guarantee smooth research, design, development and manufacturing phases. In fact, during the same conference call Tim Cook admitted they were spending lots of money on something they couldn't reveal, something looking "way ahead."

So yes, the future is happening now at Infinite Loop's dungeons. Apple has such a plan in place and yes, most probably Jobs supervised it like he did with everything else.

But is this a special plan? The Daily Mail—a well known English tabloid newspaper with zero track on Apple coverage—is implying that Jobs put extra care on it, perhaps fearing that the company would steer away from his vision too soon after his death.

They don't name their sources which claim that Jobs dedicated the last year of his life planning the new Apple campus, the iCloud project and "masterminding" a plan for the "iPod, iPad, iPhone and MacBooks, ensuring at least four years' worth of products are in the pipeline." No more information is provided.

I don't really know if this is true or not. What I can imagine is him obsessing over the future rather than the day-by-day, thinking that he was running out of time and that, once gone, nobody in the company would be able to carry on his vision. [Daily Mail]

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Apple Sells One Million iPhone 4Ses In 24 Hours [Iphone 4s]

By Jesus Diaz Oct 10, 2011 9:02 AM 15,649 119

Apple has officially announced that they have sold one million iPhone 4S units in 24 hours, which beats down the previous 600,000-unit record set by the iPhone 4. Insane. Phil Schiller is "blown away":

We are blown away with the incredible customer response to iPhone 4S The first day pre-orders for iPhone 4S have been the most for any new product that Apple has ever launched and we are thrilled that customers love iPhone 4S as much as we do.

I'm sure you are Phil, I'm sure you are. [Apple]

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Mythbusters to Host Discovery's Documentary on Steve Jobs [Apple]

By Kelly Hodgkins Oct 10, 2011 10:00 PM 8,419 42

Here's a TV show to queue up your DVR. Our favorite Mythbusters Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman are teaming up to honor Steve Jobs in an hour-long documentary that'll air on the Discovery Channel later this month.

The television special will focus on the impact Steve Jobs had on other peoples lives. It'll include interviews from musicians like Stevie Wonder who'll talk the influence Steve Jobs had on his career and former Apple employee Daniel Kottke who will talk his time with the Apple CEO. The documentary will air Sunday, Oct. 16 at 8 p.m. on Discovery's domestic and international channels. [InsideTV]

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Dr. Dre Is Gunning Directly for Apple [Blockquote]

By Sam Biddle Oct 10, 2011 2:40 PM 43,621 109

What's occasional rapper Dr. Dre up to, besides rapping, sometimes? Planning to beat every single electronics company except Apple, GlobalGrind reports.

In a recent interview, Dre said he's got ambition far beyond hawking somewhat-overpriced headphones. When asked about his gadget dreams, he revealed their loftiness:

Oh nah, I am not nervous about anything! I am trying to be number 2 to Apple, and number 2 to Apple is not a bad position to be in.

He's completely right! About being number 2 to Apple being a great position. But about Beats Electronics reaching that point? Forget about it, Dre. The firm made $300 million by selling the goods to HTC—Apple's worth well over $200 billion. To say nothing of the fact that it invents and sells a huge range of historically innovative products beyond headphones and branded laptop speakers.

So, yes, this will never happen, despite Dre being perhaps the last charismatic person left in the industry after Steve Jobs. But I do want great (realistic) things from Dr. Dre! Like finishing and releasing Detox. Thanks! [GlobalGrind via 9to5Mac]

Photo by Elsa/Getty

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iOS 5 File System Sleuthing Uncovers Potentially Beefier AppleTV [Apple]

By Jack Loftus Oct 8, 2011 7:00 PM 35,036 45

9to5Mac's discovered what appears to be a nice new AppleTV hiding in the file system of the upcoming iOS 5 file system code.

The previous code was listed AppleTV 2,1 while the newly discovered one is 3,1, indicating major changes are probably afoot. Take some guesses of your own, but easy money's on the next iteration containing a dual core A5 chip, a la other iOS devices currently or soon-to-be in the field.

And, like the iPhone 4S before it, this new AppleTV will most likely boast internal changes, given the recent case redesign.

Of course, we should also note that, like Apple some patents that bubble up on sites like this one from time-to-time, code numbers sometimes don't mean anything in the long run either. [9to5Mac]

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If You're European, Apple Now Lets You Charge Your iPhone via Micro USB [IPhone]

Now that the iPhone 4S has been shown off to borderline middling interest, Apple is quietly rolling out this little dongle that allows you to charge your phone via Micro USB. Too bad it's only in Europe (for now?).

The move follows the European Union's pushing the Micro-USB format to become a standard. Rather than redesign the iPhone, they just made a workaround. You'll likely have to pray you won't lose it, but it's something. It'll be available Oct. 14th for £8. [9to5 Mac]

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Apple Handed The Motherboard of All Patent Lawsuits [Blip]

Another day, another patent lawsuit. Today's below-bridge dwelling plantiff is Taiwanese company VIA.

VIA has filed suit against Apple claiming infringement of three patents they own. The patents in question are: US Patents Nos. 6253312, Method and apparatus for double operand load, and 6253311 & 6754810, Instruction set for bi-directional conversion and transfer of integer and floating point data.

Company CEO, Wenchi Chen says "We are determined to protect our interests and the interests of our stockholders when our patents are infringed upon." Hopefully the new patent law signed by the president will put an end too, or at least slow down these sort of antics.

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Apple Has Been Denied the Multitouch Trademark [Apple]

It's not hyperbolic to say that Apple introduced multitouch to the masses with the iPhone. Apple thought that they could trademark it. Unfortunately for them, the United States Patent and Trademark Office thought differently. They've denied Apple the multitouch trademark.

According to MacRumors, the decision made by the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board at the USPTO because the term multitouch has taken on a second, more generic meaning (sorta like Aspirin and Thermos). Specifically the trademark attorney said:

Thus, from the foregoing, we find that "multi-touch" not only identifies the technology, but also describes how a user of the goods operates the device. Based on the evidence discussed above, as well as other evidence in the record, we agree with the examining attorney that MULTI-TOUCH indeed is highly descriptive of a feature of the identified goods. We now consider whether applicant has submitted sufficient evidence to establish acquired distinctiveness of this highly descriptive term.

Apple originally applied for the trademark on January 9, 2007. MacRumors has posted the full decision on Scribd. [Scribd via MacRumors]

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